Monday, June 15, 2009
TELL 'EM WHY YOU MAD: Tha Lady Blogga on Monogamous Relationships ...
Can Rappers/Entertainers have monogamous relationships?
In the wake of relationships crumbling (Usher and Tameka) and multiple baby mama’s surfacing (Weezy, Nivea, Lauren, etc. etc.), E! True Hollywood Story was right on time showing their special on being a “RAPPER’S Wife”.
The show chronicled the wives of five rappers… Mos Def, Paul Wall, Uncle Luke, DMX and Big Pun. Now, I am no Genius but I would think that if you are seriously involved with or married to a “Rapper”, you would have to expect to deal with certain types of situations. Most of the men married women that were with them before they became famous. To them, those women seem to be the most genuine. They are the ones who love them for who they are, before the money and the fame. The most interesting thing is that these women deal with the everyday struggles that most women deal with. Infidelity of their husbands, domestic violence and financial trouble are just a few. One of them though, did not follow suit. Mos Def married a stripper (Hmmm…). Although he loved his wife, he was not comfortable with his position and her lifestyle. We can almost guess how that turned out.
The most successful couples in the game are the ones who embrace their family life and make it a part of their careers. They know who they are and are comfortable with their image. Most rappers get caught up with the image they are trying to sell versus the person they really are. And I think that is where the problem begins. Big Punisher (Big Pun) had a history of domestic violence. It was sad to hear his wife Liza Rios say that he was the “Punisher” for real. And that even though she lost a husband and a friend when he died, that was the best day of her life because the pain stopped. I was a PUN follower from day one. Lyrically, he brought it. Knowing now that was how he got down is disheartening.
Take Weezy for example. His latest song talks about him wanting to, “f@#k every girl in the world”. Apparently that is exactly what he is doing because he has a myriad of baby mama’s surfacing. You can’t be a family man but out in the clubs every night cavorting with chicks, models & bottles and carrying on. It is one thing to network but another to take it to the next level. Most entertainers try to keep their wives/girlfriends out of that flow of their life just for that reason. They want the female attention and that “groupie love”. If that is the way you want to live then cool, stay single. But don’t marry someone or put yourself in a serious relationship with someone and try to still do it. That is a definite FAILED behavior.
Paul Wall’s wife, Crystal Slayton said it best, “If you know I’m his wife and you’re still pushing up on him… Then you’re takin’ a chance on gettin’ your ass whipped.” I definitely co-sign that. Basically Paul and his wife seem to have a good relationship. He has no gripes about admitting he has a good wife by his side and she seems to know and trust her husband to the fullest. He is a family man, goes out and makes the money while she takes care of the children. They have a family tour bus and she and the children travel with him. She devoted herself to supporting her husband and his career and they have been makin’ it work ever since. She is a mother and devoted wife. But don’t get it twisted, she will smack a bitch.
The rap game and the sport’s world birthed the phrases for multiple women’s status in a man’s life. You have the “main chick”, “bottom bitch”, “side chick”, “groupie”, and “jump-off”. The wife is a given, she’s there too. But some men (even ones that are not celebrities) deem it necessary to have a bevy of women to choose from, one for each purpose in their lives.
I have friends who are artists and professional football players. Some are married; others in serious relationships and some are not. I have watched these behaviors play out before my eyes and it is disgusting. The men, even married ones, have no control over themselves. If a fine piece of ass walks by, she will put it out there and they will chase it. And women will give it up all to say they had him. Women are just as trifling. You could be with your husband/boyfriend at an event or a club and the women will STILL do what they can to get at your man. They don’t care about an artist’s/athletes wife or kids. And don’t let him slip up and get her pregnant, $KA-CHING$ is all she thinks about.
It takes a certain woman to be the wife of a rapper/celebrity. A woman is expected to be loyal to her husband, under all circumstances. She has to be secure, balanced, and confident in her position. She is the mother and the father, has to take care of house and family, keep her marriage in order and stay true to herself.
At the end of the day, with all the drama and bullshit, one would have to ask oneself… Is it worth it?
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